“I don’t have a cough,” protested Melanie. “Yeah, you do,” said another of her close friends. It’s not like every minute, but basically you’re hacking all the time.” Melanie frowned a puzzled look. Her counselor smiled and added, “I haven’t heard you cough in over a week either.”

You would think that she would have known that she coughed all the time, but she honestly did not. The coughing had become so much a part of her that she tuned it out of her mind. Her friends were giving new information about her behavior. She didn’t even seem to buy it, but the new information clearly troubled her.

“According to this report from the judicial committee, you were in some kind of fight the other night,” said the residence hall assistant.
“It wasn’t that big a deal. Just a little pushing and shoving,” replied the student.
“The witnesses said that you were kicked in the privates.”
“What!” said the student incredulously?"
“You don’t remember it. Do you?” The R. A. went on.
The student slowly shook his head.
“Man, that’s the kind of thing you don’t ever want to forget.”

The R.A. gave the student important information about how out of contol he had been.

Vicki was sick. Everybody on the team knew why. The coach didn’t have a clue. Of course, the coach hadn’t been partying with Vicki the night before. Teammates made appropriate excuses for Vicki. “It must be the flu.”

The defensive captain, Tamara, took Vicki aside the next day. She was quiet and firm, “You can party all you want,” she said, “it’s none of my business. But, when you come in here sick for practice, you hurt the whole team. If there is a next time, I won’t help you cover it up.”

Tamara wasn’t threatening. She just set her own boundaries.

He worried that he was thinking about her behavior too professionally, too coolly. He couldn’t help it. His legal training and professional experience told him that being strictly factual was the best way, even if he was talking to his own teen aged daughter. They had always had a warm, open relationship. Lately, however, she had changed. It wasn’t clear to him how she had changed until he began to think through specific incidents that he had reacted to.

As he reviewed those incidents, he jotted down notes about her changes. When he saw that there were nine specific incidents, he lost all his doubts. The time to talk to her was now. He described the facts. As he began his fourth point, she stopped him, “You think I’m using drugs don’t you?” “Either that,” he replied, “or you’re experiencing hormonal changes. Maybe, a brain tumor,” he smiled slowly. “Anyway, to rule out the drugs, I think we need a drug screen.” “Oh, nah, you don’t have to do that,” she said.

A long conversation followed; about life, risk, trust, and who she wanted to be.