CASE
# SL 1 – Physical Abuse
When you headed
out for class this morning, you noticed that something was wrong with
Teresa. She had on some make-up, which is unusual, and she was wearing
her big sunglasses. Later in the day, you meet her to go and work
out. Her face looks puffy, even under the make up. She refuses to
take off her glasses. You think somebody hit her. When you suggest
talking about it, she says, “It was nothing. It was partly my fault
anyway.”
How do you show your concern by encouraging her to talk without
being pushy?
POSSIBLE RESPONSES # SL1 – Physical Abuse
1. Ask your roommate out to lunch. Tell her how concerned you
are. Let her know you don’t think anyone deserves to be hit. Ask her
how she can avoid having this happen again. Say What You Feel, Say
What You Know. Encourage her to Say Where her Boundaries Are.
2. If you don’t personally know a woman that has received help
for being abused, attempt to find a volunteer from one of the women’s
agencies. Express your concern to your roommate and ask if she would
talk to another woman that has been in the same situation. The woman
could come to your room to talk so it would be private.
CASE
# SL2 - Marijuana Interferes With Relationship
Sara
is talking with you about her boyfriend. She is fed up with him because
he’s no fun anymore. If he isn’t getting wasted during some party he’s
home alone smoking weed. She thinks she should dump him, he tells her
he loves her and needs her. That’s what keeps her from letting him go.
What questions could you ask Sara to help her clarify some examples
of the behavior she is fed up with? How would you encourage her to talk
with him about those examples? What resources for Sara’s further education
and support could you refer her to?
POSSIBLE RESPONSES # SL 2 - Marijuana Interferes
With Relationship
1. Use questions to help Sara examine her situation and clarify
her generalities. Examples are, “What changes about his behavior when
drinks or smokes weed? How is his drinking and smoking affecting your
life?” A question that might encourage her to approach him directly
is, “Do you care enough about him to ask him to see an alcohol counselor
with you?” Your questions and Sara’s responses allow both of you to
Say What You See.
2. Explain to Sara that he may not understand he needs to change
or be motivated to change in the near future. Her best chance of saving
the relationship appears to be presenting him with the facts, let him
know that she cares and ask him to go with her to get help to change.
Even if he refuses and she has to leave, her honesty about why she is
leaving may be a wake up call for him. Say What You See, Say What
You Feel, Say Why There is Hope for Change.
CASE
# SL 3 Marijuana – Some Misinformation
You
know that John smokes marijuana several times a week. Right now he is
sitting in your room describing how important hemp is as a natural renewable
resource for making rope. He also points out how THC relieves the terrible
pain that comes from glaucoma. He thinks marijuana ought to be legalized.
You're not sure the country really suffers from a rope shortage but
you have heard that marijuana is good for glaucoma.
One issue is getting and communicating some good information about
marijuana. Where could you find good info about marijuana and glaucoma?
The other issue is how marijuana’s possible medicinal uses are related
to John’s recreational use?
POSSIBLE RESPONSES # SL 3 Marijuana – Some
Misinformation
1. "I agree that the hemp plant could be utilized in making
clothing, paper and medicines but what does that have to do with the
legalization of smoking weed?" Say What You See and Say What
Your Boundaries Are.
2. "THC may be helpful to glaucoma patients but sucking
in pot smoke and holding your breath on a regular basis so you can get
high isn’t doing your lungs any favors." Say What You Know.
CASE
# SL 4 Family Trouble with Alcohol
Luisa
hasn’t seemed like herself for the past few days. When you stop to visit
with her in the hall, she acts preoccupied. When you ask her what’s
bothering her. She tells you that her brother is being discharged from
the military for substance abuse. She has never used alcohol or other
drugs. No one in her family has. She can’t believe its true about her
brother. She is unsure about approaching the subject with him. Think
about the resources that might be helpful to Luisa.
Think about how you might help her connect with those resources.
POSSIBLE RESPONSES # SL 4 Family Trouble with Alcohol
1. Explain to Luisa that it may mean that he seriously abused
drugs or it may mean he is dependent. A person could make a mistake
on one or two occasions that is so serious that the military quickly
released him. On the other hand his mistakes may mean that he has become
dependent on alcohol or other drugs. He will need some type of help
when he gets home and it would be best if the family learns more about
substance abuse, dependency and different types of treatment so they
can approach him in a way that will help him. They could contact an
alcohol/drug treatment agency or local council on alcoholism by looking
up "Alcohol" in the Yellow Pages. These contacts should be able to put
them in touch with someone who could help.
If the military has already had him in a treatment program and the problem
appears to be dependency, then Alanon is a support group that can help
them talk to her brother in a helpful way. Families without that support
can sometimes react in ways that make the situation worse. Say What
You Know.
2. Suggest that the family asks her brother to get an alcohol/drug
evaluation from an alcohol/drug treatment agency. The recommendations
could be helpful getting him to the kind of help he needs. Say Why There
is Hope for Change. 3. If her brother is married, she could contact
her brother's spouse and ask how the family could help her. If the spouse
is concerned but feeling helpless, she could offer to help find a support
system for her sister-in-law. Say How You Feel, Say Why There is
Hope for Change.
CASE
# SL 5 Worried About Boyfriend’s Partying
Keesha confides in
you that her boyfriend worries that he has been partying too hard lately.
She says that he missed a day of classes yesterday, including one exam.
Keesha told him, “Maybe you should slow down a little bit. Try to limit
your drinking.” She also named a couple of guys that she thought he
should avoid. She’s not sure her advice will help him, but she heard
her Mom talk to her oldest brother that way once.
How do
the things Keesha said fit with the FLASH tools? What would you say
differently?
POSSIBLE RESPONSES # SL 5 Worried About Boyfriend’s
Partying
1. Help Keesha look at all the information by asking questions
such as, "When did you first get concerned or upset by his drinking?"
"How does he change when he is drinking?" "How has his drinking affected
you?" "What is he willing to do about his drinking besides saying he
is worried?" These questions help Keesha Say What You See.
2. "He should be worried. I can't imagine any or us getting drunk
and not preparing for an exam. What he did by getting so drunk he missed
all his classes and the exam is way beyond that. I'm very concerned
about him. He needs to get some help for his drinking before it causes
more problems. Say What You See, Say Why There is Hope for Change.
3. Keesha, there are a lot of people that may need to slow down
their partying a little but this sounds more serious than that. I recommend
you ask your boyfriend to go with you to talk to a counselor about how
to prevent this from happening again. If he refuses, you should go yourself
so you know what to do if the problem continues. I know that would be
hard to do by yourself so I'd be glad to take you to the appointment
if you want. Say What You See, Say Why There is Hope for Change.
CASE
# SL 6 Parents With Chronic Alcoholism
You
are talking with a bunch of friends and acquaintances over lunch. For
the last 20 minutes, the twins, Marcy and Darcy have been telling stories
about their parents’ drinking. The way they tell the stories gets everybody
laughing. Their Dad has been busted twice for drunk driving and they
found their mother passed out on the floor several times. They make
a joke about how silly she looked on one particular occasion. It leaves
everybody roaring with laughter.
Note: Being raised by alcoholic parents may provide some humorous
incidents but it is not a barrel of laughs. It is more often scary or
painful. Most of the laughter is a way of relieving some of the pain.
How can you approach either one of the twins later with your concern
about their pain? To whom would you speak on your campus to learn where
children of alcoholics can get support?
POSSIBLE RESPONSES # SL 6 Parents With Chronic
Alcoholism
1. Approach the twins, either individually or together, sometime
during the next week. Give the twins pamphlets about children of alcoholics
and a list of support groups for children of alcoholics and Alanon.
Tell them it was funny when they told their stories but later you realized
how it made you sad. You wanted to try to do something to help. Say
What You Feel, Say Why There is Hope for Change.
2. It was surprising that the two of you were able to talk and
even laugh about your parent’s alcoholism. From our training a resident
assistants we’ve learned that all the emotion that goes along with those
stories have a big impact on a person’s life. Would you be interested
in a support group for children of alcoholics or talking to a counselor?
Say What You See, Say Why There is Hope for Change.
CASE
# SL 7 Possible Blackout
Mike
is telling you that after getting really drunk at a recent party, he
took some flack over it. Several people told him that it was funny when
he did some crazy stuff like jumping up on a window ledge. Mike says
that he knows he didn’t do anything that crazy. You wonder if they are
putting him on or if he just had a blackout from too much alcohol.
Note: The big point is that he can’t be sure that he
didn’t do something that crazy because his high-risk consumption of
alcohol makes it possible.
POSSIBLE RESPONSES # # SL 7 Possible Blackout
1. Ask Mike, "Have you asked your fraternity brothers in a serious
conversation if they are making this up?" "Have you asked anyone else
that was at the party if this is true?" "Have you ever had experiences
when you were drinking and didn't remember part of the night?" "Do you
believe you remember all of that night?" After the questions conclude
by stating you are concerned because sometimes people don't remember
what they did when they are drunk. You are Flashing Your Brights by
Saying What You Feel.
2. Explain to Mike that sometimes people experience blackouts
when they are drunk. A blackout may mean a person wakes up and realizes
they can't remember part of the night before. Other times an individual
may believe they remember everything until someone tells or shows them
evidence to the contrary. People can do things in blackouts they would
never do sober. It is possible he may have blacked out. You are Flashing
Your Brights by Saying What You Know.
CASE
# SL 8 Anorexia
You are wondering
what’s happened to Shannon lately since she’s become completely isolated,
not talking to anybody anymore. When you do see her, you notice that
she has started smoking cigarettes and that she looks like a professional
model in her new outfit. She has little to say when you go over to say,
“Hi.”
Note: She looks like “a professional model” means that she
is too thin to be healthy. The cigarettes and her isolation may be a
problem of their own, however, she may be smoking partly to keep her
weight down.
POSSIBLE RESPONSES # # SL 8 Anorexia
1. Point out what has happened by asking questions that will
draw her out such as, "We haven’t heard from you lately. Why don’t
you talk to me anymore?" "You have lost so much weight you
don’t look well. Are you feeling okay?" "You don’t need to
smoke to be thin. When did you start smoking?" Say What You
See.
2. I’m concerned about you. You started smoking, you’re underweight
and you’ve become isolated from us. Help me understand what’s happening
to you so I can be a better friend to you. Say What You See, Say
What You Feel, Say Why There is Hope for Change.
CASE
# SL 9 Personal Safety
It is after 2:00 a.m.
You and two of your friends are returning to campus after an out of
town basketball game. As you walk through campus, you see two male students
carrying a female student down the sidewalk. One is holding her by the
shoulders, the other by her feet. They are people you have seen around
campus but you don’t know them. The two guys look happily intoxicated.
They seem to be taking her back to her house. However, you have no way
of knowing where they are going or where they came from.
Note: the immediate issue is her safety. What can you do about
it? If you learn who she is, what might you say to her the next day?
CRITICAL RESPONSE # SL 9 Personal Safety
Decide if this is a life-threatening situation.
Stop and ask, "Is she breathing?" Put your hand close to her nose to
verify she is breathing. If you can't detect a breath, put your cheek
close to her nose. If you still can't verify breathing, try to wake
her up with the "shake and shout" method. If there is no breathing
and she doesn’t wake up, follow the procedure for CPR (Cardio-Pulmonary
Resuscitation). Call 911 for emergency services. You are "Flashing
Your Brights®" by expressing your care
and offering help Say How You Feel and Offer Hope for Change.
OTHER POSSIBLE RESPONSES # SL 9 Personal Safety
1. Ask if they need help carrying her to her room. Explain 1)
you have had some training in taking care of intoxicated individuals
so you will tag along; 2) she needs to be breathing regularly at least
9-10 times per minute, with no long lapses; 3) her skin should not be
cold or clammy. If they challenge you or try to get rid of you, explain
that you don't know them and they don't know you so if you all work
together to get her safely home, then no one else including the young
woman will ever question anyone's intentions. You are Flashing Your
Brights® by Saying What You Know and your actions
show How You Feel.
2. Introduce yourself and wait for their introductions. Ask who
she is and where she lives. Make it clear through your questions that
you will remember them and her. Your problem here is, "How do I
act like a responsible person and fellow student in this questionable
situation." By taking these steps you will solve your problem with
their drinking and let them know that they will be accountable for their
actions. You are Flashing Your Brights® by Saying
Where Your Boundaries Are.
3. If they totally blow you off or seem suspicious, call campus
security. You are Saying Where Your Boundaries Are.
4. The next day, go to the woman's room and tell her you had
stopped by to check on her because you were concerned about her last
night. Factually and without drama relate what happened. You are Flashing
Your Brights® by Saying What You Saw and Saying
How You Feel.
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